Strange question I know... but I ask because of past experiences that I have had with girls and a few guys. I have maybe gave them compliments and they laugh and make a snide remark back, almost like they thought I was being sarcastic or a stuck up snob... (because I have been mistaken for that, sadly.)
I was thinking today... well actually I've been thinking about this for like two months. Mainly because who should be afraid of giving compliments to others? No one. That's who.
With the world we live in I feel as though girls tend to... fit this 'mold' of sorts. Its a 'trust NO ONE' type of thing. I understand that but for us girls you would think that we would 'have each others backs' or stick up for each other. After all, we go through the same thing as the next gal that comes along. I hate to admit it but I've sort of isolated myself from girls. Since tenth grade I've had the one true friend that you rarely find during your high school career... you know, the friend that you keep in touch with even though you are 5 years out of high school and you know that you will just be friends for life and maybe after life if you believe in that like I do ;) This friend is far from a girl though. He has never failed me even after my move across the country to find a new me, he was there. He was there right when I got home. That is a post in a different tab... if you catch my drift.
My point:
One of my co-workers was asking about us, the question... "I never knew that could be possible... a girl and a guy best friend? How do you do it?" I honestly think its just a natural thing. I have a deep love friendship kind of love for him. He knows I would take the shirt off my back for him, and I know he would do the same for me. It's just how it is.
But then I thought... well I've never really been able to keep a true 'girl' friendship. (until I found Rinne... Lord knows I can't live without her. She is for sure the exception.) I told my co-worker that its always been sort of difficult or trying for me to get along with girls. I want to change that. I want to challenge other girls out there who are maybe surfing the same seas that I am.
So my best advice goes here:
1. NEVER compare yourself to them. That destroys your growth for your own self worth. Every girl is different and has different strengths. Don't ever forget the ones that God gave to you specifically. Comparison is the thief of joy.
2. Cheating. I have had a couple of friends who have gone through a relationship where their boyfriend cheats on them with their best friend. GIRLS!! Remember, remember, remember there is a guy involved too. I've lost a best friend because I trusted 'him' over 'her.' This is where you have each others backs. Now... don't get confused because cheating is cheating. It's never right for both parties. So when you are walking down the halls in high school and you see those two people who hurt you most... the two you never thought would hurt you like that... remember there was two, not one. Forgiveness is key here because it lifts the burden off of YOUR shoulders. So in honor of my experience, I'm not blaming one girl who kissed MY boyfriend. After it happened countless times... I realized it was him and it was a good possibility that the other girls had NO CLUE.. just. like. me. Like I said... surfing the same seas, you catching my drift? Or wave? ha.
3. When you give a compliment to another girl, you lose NOTHING. I think that has been my biggest fear lately. I don't want other girls to 'trust no one' because I am SOMEone. There is no need to give a 'mean girl' compliment, and here is my example: "Wow... Love that pink shirt on you!!" -"Thank you so much, I got it from Target." (then they split ways) and the girl who gave that compliment in the first place walks away and nonchalantly says, "That is the ugliest effing shirt I have ever seen." Uhh... why give the compliment?? If you have nothing nice to say... don't say it all. Tuck it right back into satans throat because that's where it belongs. But really. Don't be afraid to be nice. That's the silliest fear I think I've ever had but it's going to change. I promise.
4. A couple weeks ago I was going through what some like to call hell. Excuse my french... but literally it was. I had a broken heart and just to describe that feeling... it's like someone literally rips your heart out and tears it apart, stomps on it, and leaves it out to just bleed. Not to mention, it burns. So to get to my point and what I have learned... I was at work and it was on the busiest days of the year. My shift was 10:00 a.m. til Midnight, I'm still wondering how I even survived. The side affects of the broken heart leads to nausea, which then leads to not eating, and THAT leads to anxiety. Mix that in a bowl and you've got h.e.l.l. I'm just sayin. Anyways... I was struggling from the heat, I was exhausted from my shift, I couldn't eat, and I was running back and forth throughout the entire facility. While I was in my rush to get tents set up and pull other tents down I just so happened to walk passed this girl who stopped right next to me, dropped all her clothes on the concrete, and immediate tears fell from her cheeks. I couldn't help but stop, with my arms full of decorations I watched this girl tell her friends that her boyfriend just broke up with her. Instant tears streamed out of my eyes and I walked away. I walked away. I made it to the storage room in the facility which was in the complete opposite direction of where she was. I set down all the things I had been carrying, looked at my co-worker and said, "I have to be right back... I need to go find someone." We are talking looking for a needle in a haystack type of deal. 20,000 people attend this event and I was determined to find this girl. I ran... and to this very moment I don't know how I ran because I hadn't eaten, my body was weak, and I was exhausted. I'm also wondering how I even found her within the 20 minute period of me taking the decor to the storage unit and realizing I just HAD to talk to her. Once I saw her, I slowed down and my courage wavered a bit because I didn't know what her reaction would be but I wasn't about to let myself wonder for the rest of my life if it would be good or bad. I tapped her on the shoulder, she turned around, and I stared right into her tear filled eyes... "I'm so sorry, I just had to see if you were okay? I saw you drop your things and I saw you crying so I just wanted to make sure you were okay and if you need anything?" She looked at me like an alien. I didn't care. Then her face got soft and she thanked me. Then she turned and walked away, and I had this instant relief. Let me just tell you that when you serve others, it truly lifts you. I know for a 110% fact that the Holy Ghost was guiding me and I am SO glad I listened. So just remember that when you see someone struggling or not... serve them. Don't miss that opportunity. Even if you don't have a clue of who they are, this girl will never know how much SHE helped ME. She built my courage, my strength, and she took away my fear and if I could thank her for that I would. Right now I'm just grateful I got a second chance to see if she was okay. To the boy that broke her, its your loss because the love you get from a woman is infinite and its just something that you appreciate the first time around. I think what I'm trying to say is... If you serve others, you really are serving yourself because it builds you up just as much if not more; you become completely selfless and realize that everyone has trials and you are not alone.
5. Strive to be a little better than you were the day before. This creates confidence and it shows that you are only up against yourself, bettering yourself, loving yourself and embracing those mistakes you make so you can learn from them.
So to end on this post... girls, lets work together. Don't be afraid because every girl, and I mean every single one needs at least one best 'girl' friend. I'm not the only girl who knows that. I challenge you to stand outside of your comfort zone, with school starting, and just be that example. Be the example of how to be a woman. Take that with every fiber in your being and run with it. In the end it builds you, and the best part is if we all do it, it will build others and we won't feel so alone or afraid.
All my love to my ladies.
xo. k.
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