My biggest battle

I have said this before, and I'll say it again... but I never want my blogging to come off as negative or depressing. That is the complete opposite of what I am and what I strive to be every day. I think in this post I will speak for more than just myself but a lot of girls. With that being said, I hope this will help you.

Social media is huuuuge. It's growing as I type these words. Many of us have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Blogs, Tumblr's, Pinterest... etc. With girls its tough, to say the least. Me, being one of them, compares myself to those girls. I compare my talents, my spirituality, my beauty... inside and out, my motivation, my education, and my creativity. Staci and I constantly argue about who is prettier, who is stronger, who has more creativity. We have funny arguments. It doesn't get 'outta hand' is what I'm trying to say. We just compliment each other a ton and it usually ends up being about how many 'likes' each of us has gotten on a picture or a facebook status or a tweet... etc. At the end of the day.. who cares how many 'likes' you have on something? Those 'likes' will never define how much a person likes you.

I think that not only us sisters compare, but all girls do. Whether you're at the mall, the grocery store, school, in new groups of friends, and maybe even people walking down the street. I notice when I compare myself to others, I get really down on myself. I put myself down, disregard all of my blessings the Lord has given me, and find myself reaching for the talents that others' have. I've noticed that this completely takes away my confidence, which then takes away my beauty, and then prevents me from even exercising my talents.

Everyone has a story.

Everyone has a talent, many of them if I'm being honest.
(which I am)

Everyone is beautiful.

Today I have decided that I can't compare myself to others anymore. I need to compare myself to myself... to the girl I was the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that. I'm no longer counting anyone's blessings, but my own. Most importantly... I am going to fall in love with myself first. If I don't love myself first, how will I be able to love others? Their talents? Their beauty? Their creativity? If I don't love myself, my blessings will fade, my talents will fade, my spirituality will fade, and my beauty on the inside will fade. It's okay to be in love with yourself.

I think part of me (a huge part of me actually) feels like if I voice my talents, how cute my outfits are, how much I like my own photography, how I like how I do my makeup... then I just might be cocky, or conceited. But that isn't my intentions, and for you girls reading... its okay to be confident in yourself. Confidence exudes light from your entire being. It truly is a shining light from within you. 

I recall from a conversation I had with my brother in law, Tyler. He gave me a blessing a couple years ago when I was going through a rough time and following my blessing he asked me a question that has forever crossed my mind. For two years I have thought of this question every single day. 

No. Joke.

He asked me, "Kim, have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and just said to yourself... 'I am a cute girl.'?" I looked at him like he had lost his entire mind. Why would I ask myself that? Who does that? Obviously not me.

My answer...

'Well... no. I guess I never do that because I don't want to come across as big headed or conceited.'

He promised...

"If you do that every day... once a day, your confidence will sky rocket. Your fear won't get in the way of new things you want to try and I promise you're too nervous about coming off as conceited, or big headed. You will just believe in yourself more."

Felt like I was hit by a semi-truck. So guess what little readers? This advice took me two years to try. I'm starting it as of right now, and will post an update of how I feel in the next year. I promise I won't forget. To start out, I want to list five things about myself that I love. I'm still worried about being cocky... so don't read this in some sort of valley-girl-I'm-all-that.. kind of voice ;)

1. I'm patient.

2. I love people immediately. No questions asked.

3. If I want something, I work hard to get it. I question my motivation at some moments, mostly with school... but I carry a lot of it with me. (I will get a mac someday... I will.)

4. I love my closet. I'm blessed to have a job and to be able to buy cute clothes whenever I feel and create something that makes me feel presentable. 

5. I have deep, deep emotions. I like crying happy tears, and I like crying when I'm sad. It helps balance my emotions. Crying when I'm sad helps me let it all out, to completely let the burden be lifted off of me.

Okay girls, and boys... (if you men have these battles too, your secret is safe with me!) I challenge you to look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself any compliment. Tell yourself what you love about yourself. I challenge you, to fall in love with you.

xo. always.